It’s not surprising, given that I’m on estrogen, but it’s still amazing.
Until recently, I had something I called proto-breasts: sensitive nipples topping slightly meaty man-boobs. But they have graduated into full breasthood. They are still the smallest breasts one could possibly imagine, but they are indeed breasts.
I wonder if I’ll draw a lot of hits [...]

I mailed my name change paperwork off today. For some ridiculous reason, they still take six to eight weeks to process these things, so the leaves will be turning by the time my name change is done.
In Ontario, I can get my gender changed on my driver’s license with a letter from my doctor, so [...]

Everything was coming together. The two-plus years since I started coming out have been cataclysmic. I’ve been one of those messy, crazy, crisis trannies in a lot of ways, though I worked as hard as I could to stay in control. It just unfolded as a crisis.
So, after more than two years—losing my marriage but [...]

On Saturday, I finally told my son J. about my transition.
He’s five. I had just supervised his life-jacketed form flying off the dock at my family’s summer place—lucky us, I know—and now he was warming up in the sun on top of the boathouse. I had refused to swim since the thought of me in [...]

So, I’ve been feeling pretty good for a crazy trannie who just abruptly went off her mood stabilizers and androgen blockers, and further-tapered her anti-depressant dose (in response to the liver situation, discussed in the last post).
Today, not so much. I was getting along fine until I spoke with my mother, and she began dispensing [...]

Today didn’t start off in the best way. I awoke to my phone ringing. That’s not all that surprising, or bad in itself. Based on the volume, I concluded that it wasn’t in the bedroom, so I let it ring, certain I’d never make it anyway.
Then it started up again a moment or two later. [...]

I can’t remember the last time I went an entire day without applying any makeup.
Ok. The truth is that I smushed a little pink lip balm onto my lips a couple of times, but that was it. Like lip balm counts.
This is important because I use makeup for feminization. Sure, it’s also about making myself [...]

I commented to Maxine, CAMH’s facilitator (a trans woman herself), that I was surprised to find the group so small given the news.
“I had expected it to be a full house, given last week’s announcement.”
“So did I,” she said, and then paused for a second, before continuing “but they still hate us.”
“Yeah. I’m part of [...]

Karymé, my first commenter (thank you thank you thank you for letting me know that someone actually read a post!:), said some very nice things, and also wanted to know about my Buddhist practice. Sadly, it’s non-existent. A friend suggested I adopt a Buddhist attitude to living with my transness. It sounds like a great [...]

Various people, notably my wife, have been urging me to pick myself up off the mat. People have said it to me in different ways:

What about being trans in a Buddhist way?
You should be more than a gender–you’re a person
If you need to change your gender, then fine, but you’ve been a mess for over [...]