I found myself at Cherry Bomb on Saturday evening. My friend S. canceled at the last second, but I had been waiting months for a Saturday off to synch up with Toronto’s hottest queer woman’s monthly, so I went alone.
I had an amazing time!
Cherry Bomb’s tagline is “dance. sweat. cruise,” and though I’ve been to [...]

My therapist has reminded me that I foresaw this, but I don’t think I correctly anticipated how much better it would make me feel.
I was raised believing that gender is a social construct. At some level, I think I was skeptical that the hormones would make me feel better. I was convinced that the effects [...]

I seem to have crossed the passing point. People who I encounter in everyday life assume I was born a woman, almost without exception. Even my voice, which is still enough to get me called ’sir’ over the phone, seems to pass muster when backed up by my appearance.
Everyone used to stare, or double-take, or [...]

It’s not surprising, given that I’m on estrogen, but it’s still amazing.
Until recently, I had something I called proto-breasts: sensitive nipples topping slightly meaty man-boobs. But they have graduated into full breasthood. They are still the smallest breasts one could possibly imagine, but they are indeed breasts.
I wonder if I’ll draw a lot of hits [...]

I mailed my name change paperwork off today. For some ridiculous reason, they still take six to eight weeks to process these things, so the leaves will be turning by the time my name change is done.
In Ontario, I can get my gender changed on my driver’s license with a letter from my doctor, so [...]

On Saturday, I finally told my son J. about my transition.
He’s five. I had just supervised his life-jacketed form flying off the dock at my family’s summer place—lucky us, I know—and now he was warming up in the sun on top of the boathouse. I had refused to swim since the thought of me in [...]

My almost-ex-wife and I live suspended in our loss. We hung onto each other so tightly, and loved each other so urgently, that we managed to hold our marriage together through my entire crisis (eighteen months of craziness!).
Finally, the dust settled, and there I was: a trans woman waiting to go on hormones. She’s a [...]

I was sitting at my desk, and for the first time, I really felt how lucky I am to get to change my gender. Now that I finally feel secure in my transition–secure that I’m going to transition, and that nothing will stop me except me, and I will only stop myself if I come [...]

Karymé, my first commenter (thank you thank you thank you for letting me know that someone actually read a post!:), said some very nice things, and also wanted to know about my Buddhist practice. Sadly, it’s non-existent. A friend suggested I adopt a Buddhist attitude to living with my transness. It sounds like a great [...]