I was up at my family’s place in the country over the weekend. Intent on making sure my son had a fantastic time, I invited three of his friends, and some of their parents.

There was only one man present: A., a Master’s candidate in fine arts, of Colombian extraction. Someone who should be keenly aware of gender sensitivities, but who was raised in a macho culture.

It was my first clear-cut experience of having a man disempower me while I was working on something. I couldn’t help noticing it, because it was like nothing I ever ran across while I was living as a man. Perhaps I felt subordinated in this way during childhood, but not since.

Neither incident was a big deal. In the first, I was driving a car through a challengingly narrow space between a tree stump and another car. He arrived on the scene when the job was nearly complete, and immediately began giving advice, and attempting to interpose himself, while I and the other two women who were guiding me, were trying to focus carefully on the work at hand. He wouldn’t have stuck his head in the driver’s-side-window while I was inching backwards, two inches away from the other car, to question my driving were I a man–of that I am sure.

Later, he attempted to supplant me in front of the BBQ. I am an excellent cook, but it seems that my grilling credentials have been invalidated by my gender transition.

It’s strange, to finally feel what it’s like on the other side. Other women, trans and non, have warned me what to expect, but it’s still amusing to suddenly be seen as having different capabilities simply because I’ve changed genders. As though the estrogen saps my my skill at piloting a car, or my knowledge of meat grilling, leaving me fit only for the other 98% of the work involved in preparing a meal.

I’m not upset with him. After all, he was just playing out gender roles socially. This is common behaviour. If anything, it validates my womanhood to be inexpliably and baselessly assumed to be inferior. I hate the idea that women are seen to be less capable drivers or inept in front of a gas grill, but at least I know he’s seeing me as a woman.